As a postpartum nurse and doula I often hear about, see and feel the aftermath of this decision. This may seem like a non-issue for some, especially if you are doing this alone or if all family members get along, but for others it can sting or leave lingering negative feelings about the whole birth process.
Please address this and write into your birth plan WHO is welcomed in your room during labor, delivery and afterward. Begin discussing this information BEFORE you go into labor. Check with your hospital or birthing center and your OB or Midwife to see what their policies are. There is even a possibility that your home birth midwife has some limitations as well. Don’t be afraid to ASK, it is your birth! This is all a part of being informed. A baby is coming into the world, you must be flexible but you should also be prepared.
Maybe you want it to be just the two of you, maybe you want your entire family and friends to be a part of this experience, possibly you haven’t even thought about this topic, however you come to your decision, think about this first……
TALK about the WHO with your partner
LISTEN to each other, HEAR what the other is saying, do NOT interrupt each other and find out WHY it is important to the other person to have that person there
COMPROMISE, it took TWO to create this baby! If one or the other of you is uncomfortable with someone, maybe have them stand behind a door or curtain so they can’t see anything BUT they can still be a part of all the excitement.
My deliveries were all different but each included the DYNAMIC DUO! My husband, he was and still is my rock and my mom, well because she is my mom and would do anything for me. THANKS DUO!!! I would have welcomed my dad as he didn’t get to see my sister and my delivery because back then he wasn’t allowed in the OR, he did get to see my sons delivery. So glad times have changed! My sister was welcomed too if she could make it in time.
Most importantly, my husband and I felt loved and supported throughout my entire labor and delivery process because we discussed this topic ahead of time. My desire for writing about this is to encourage you to talk about this with your partner and listen to each other’s reasoning. I know that it is the woman’s body and we are the ones giving birth BUT it is his experience also so if he wants his mom or sister there to support him, could you compromise to make it happen? Labor rooms are usually large enough to accommodate a couple people. Remember there is usually a curtain or door that someone can hang out behind so they can’t see anything but still be part of the excitement. Your partner may feel better with someone they feel can support them. Typically if he feels supported, he will do a better job of supporting you!
Support goes a long way in both pregnancy and postpartum. Keep the lines of communication open as this is just ONE of the many decisions you will make together along your journey.
Doulas provide a local, friendly, nonjudgmental and knowledgeable physical and emotional support system for BOTH of you, get yours today!!!!