Colleen

Colleen

Bilingual or Multilingual: Speak to your kids

world map-languages

Whether you were born in the United States, immigrated here, came here for work, school, marriage or military share your culture and language with your child(ren).

The past few years I am noticing an increase in international clients and I LOVE it.  WHY? Personally, the families who hire me come to the U.S. and realize “WOW, they don’t take great care of their moms, babies and families after delivery.  I need some additional help because my family can’t be here with me, hence I will arrange for support.  Enter Colleen (aka pasaku krustmāte (Fairy Godmother in Latvian) or Baby Flüsterer (Baby Whisperer in German).  I am blessed because I love to learn about other cultures, traditions, foods, and languages.  Mostly, I love to watch parents, family members or friends interact with, bond and fall in love with their babies.

I regularly sit in admiration of HOW their baby looks at them, the way they pronounce words, the way their mouths move, the annotation of their voices, the smile that quickly spreads across their face and the sparkle in both sets of eyes. Plus, watching the other partner, grandparent or friend watch them is so sweet to observe. I have been told that speaking in your native language, gives parents a feeling of connection to their country, culture and loved ones that they miss and being able to share with their newborn is comforting.

WHY should you teach your children a second language?

According to Secondary Korean teacher Ms Yunjung Kim, “Native language plays an essential role in establishing your identity. History and culture is inherent in language. Learning the native language signifies learning the same history and culture of your parents, relatives, and even the generations before and after.”  Each parents culture is important to their child and it is ok if the other parent does not speak or understand what you are saying to your child.  That is one of my favorite parts of my home visits, listening and observing.  Then I get to ask, “what are you saying to them” and then try to understand it (there are numerous ways to say the same thing).  The more I hear, the more I am learning about languages, traditions and cultures.

There is so much research about the many benefits to babies and children when learning another language, from creativity, to sensitivity and empathy, boosting brain power to enhancing cognitive abilities. “Every infant is born with the ability to mimic the sounds of any language. But by the time a baby is about 10 months old, he begins to narrow down the range of sounds to those that he hears around him. So if you want your child to learn a second language, it’s best to introduce it in the first year of life.”  https://www.parents.com/baby/development/intellectual/how-to-teach-your-child-a-foreign-language/  Start speaking to them as soon as you are able.  Tell them Happy Birthday on the day that they are born, count their fingers and toes in your language and sing them Twinkle Twinkle or You are My Sunshine right away.  Give them kisses, cuddle them tightly and whisper I LOVE you quietly in their ear.

HOW to say I LOVE YOU in different languages

-わたしは、あなたを愛しています (Japanese)

ខ្ញុំស្រលាញ់អ្នក/ khnhom sralanh anak (Cambodian)

Volim te (Croatian)

Je vous aime (French)

Eu amo Você (Portuguese)

Unë të dua (Albanian)

Nakupenda (Swahili)

WAYS to incorporate a different language into your home:

Some of my clients have chosen to speak to their child in their native language at home and only speak English outside of the home.  Others incorporate books, music, pictures, movies, tv shows, coloring and art.  Make it FUN and involve everyone in the family, via phone, skype, zoom or FaceTime.  The more the child hears it, the better. Label household items with stickers and the names. Go on walks and point out trees, birds, landscapes, mountains, houses and cars and call them by their names. Make native dishes and allow them to get used to different smells, flavors and textures.  Whatever route you choose, be consistent with your speaking and teaching and ask others for help when needed. Your child will thank you for being bilingual or multilingual the older they get.

WHAT I have learned from my clients:

I just recently received a text from a client, she is from Taiwan and he is from Germany and they have been working on choosing a name for their daughter.  Well after 4 months and a move back to the island of Hawaii, they decided on one and sent me her name plus its meaning. “She smiles when we call her that, doesn’t smile for the other candidate names.  We use the French pronunciation, (dads name) like to speak French to her because she, for whatever reason, lights up to the language.  Must be the soft melodic nature of the sounds.”

I walked into the house of another client and she was singing to her daughter in Latvian, I quietly observed and recognized the melody of the tune.  She speaks 5 languages fluently and has traveled to well over 50 different countries.  Her husband speaks several languages as well.  A while into the visit I focused on the music in the background and inquired what language it was in.  The dad replied “Portuguese, we love it but don’t speak it.” I anticipate this little girl will be multilingual.

I have listened to a Veteran dad read in Farsi, a novel for his enjoyment, but he chose to read it out loud to his daughter.  He also played his guitar and sang an Egyptian/Arabic nursery rhyme for her too. Another dad speaks to his little guy in Swiss while diaper changing to keep him calm.  I have heard the same sayings and nursery rhymes from him so many times that I can even hum along now.  One of my clients has bought and plays Chinese music at nap and bed time, plus has a stuffed bear dressed in a Chinese kimono that says many phrases in Chinese.  I have also had the great pleasure of tasting many native dishes during my visits.  From special teas and celebratory cake from the Philippines, an amazing apple/meringue crumble from Latvia, a potato casserole from Suriname and a traditional stew dish from Iran, I benefit from all my international clients.

Being multilingual or bilingual is an amazing gift to give your child(ren). It will help them in more ways than you can imagine.  If you currently only speak one language, there is always time to learn a new one. Purchase Rosetta stone, read a book, watch a movie, listen to music, join a club, or schedule a trip and learn together.  “Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going”. – Rita Mae Brown

For more helpful hints, tips and ways to THRIVE in your 4th trimester, check out www.yourfamilysjourney.com and book a consultation with Colleen today!

Detours

If 2020 taught me anything it was to expect and embrace detours.  The dictionary definition of a detour is “a long or roundabout route that is taken to avoid something or to visit somewhere along the way.” 2020 was one long detour after another. It is over and a new year has begun, so I will not perseverate about it nor let it ruin 2021.

As my husband and I went on our first walk of 2021, we decided to take our black lab with us. Like most dogs, she is queen of “sniffing detours”.  At first I wasn’t excited about bringing her.  I just wanted to pound some pavement, enjoy the beautiful weather, listen to the bird’s chirp, get my heart rate up and get home to my next task.  Our lab is typically great off leash so as we walked through the desert, she had free reign to sniff and explore. As we approached our 2-mile point, she started to pant harder, slow down and get tired.  I sensed a detour was coming, even though it was not part of my plan.

Fight it or embrace it

We made a slight detour to the park to let her rest for a few moments in the cool shade.  I am so glad we did.  The park was full of people enjoying the weather. Kids were riding bikes and families were having picnics. Music could be heard playing and remote controlled cars were being driven around. We watched as the cutest little boy, followed by his dad, rode a motorized John Deer tractor with a safety vest on and observed the prettiest bright orange Oriole just sitting in the middle of the grass taking it all in. I felt myself relax and stopped fighting the urge to get back to walking.

This detour was just what I needed to slow down and appreciate the newness of the year.  The sky was an incredible blue shade with barely a cloud in sight, the mountains majestic as the light bounced off them, the laughter palpable and yet a stillness was present. As I was taking it all in, I began to think about detours in life, work, health and parenting. I can choose to fight the detours and allow them to make me feel angry, overwhelmed, sad and inconvenienced or I can choose to embrace them for what they are, “a long or roundabout route.” A new opportunity to learn or just stop and smell the roses.

Parenting detours

2020 caused a lot of “life” detours to happen.  The pandemic affected my business. My husband moved his office into our 4th bedroom. We had to make a flying trip to pack up my oldest daughters dorm room and move her home. My youngest missed some rights of passage and moved to full time online school. My nice quiet home turned into a loud, blustery, beautiful detour.

A little flexibility was all I needed to figure out how I could still be helpful to new parents virtually.   I also took the time to educate myself on certain topics that I want to expand my knowledge in. My immediate family stayed healthy and safe but that was not the case for many friend’s families. Several families grieved the loss of loved ones, struggled to home school, lost jobs and grappled with isolation and feelings of loneliness.

Parenting during this pandemic has been full of detours as well.  Parents have had to do more alone. Attend appointments without their partners. No baby showers or large gatherings. Quaranting at home alone prior to delivery. Postpone seeing loved ones and sharing the new baby with family and friends. 

Other detours I witnessed were when: a baby arrives early and has to stay in the NICU. The planned homebirth that has to transfer to the hospital.  Having to get the epidural to allow your body to rest after 36 hours of intense labor, then needing a c-section.  A baby losing weight, not latching and has a high bilirubin so formula is suggested. Finally getting a 5-6 hour stretch of much needed sleep throughout the night, only for a baby to get sick and wake up hourly. Parents having to go back to work sooner than planned because of financial struggle.

Detours are inevitable in life. The sooner we can learn to embrace them, the sooner we can learn that detours don’t have to alter our destination. They just change the path we take to get there.  Having a baby is a BIG LIFE CHANGING event. Expect detours, embrace them and if you get stuck call me, I will help.  For more information or to start planning and preparing for your 4th trimester, check out www.yourfamilysjourney.com

Hospital Bag Essentials

I know it is hard not to pack everything JUST IN CASE you might need it, but trust me, it will be ok if you don’t bring it with you.  In light of the pandemic, hospitals and birth centers are trying to get you in and out to keep transmissions to a minimum, so PACK LIGHTLY.

I have packed 3 of my own bags and helped countless families prepare their bags as well so I think I have it down to a science. If you are early on in your pregnancy, file this blog post away and pull it up later, or print it out and check mark or cross things off as you put it in your bag.  Yes, rolling suitcases make transporting your stuff easier, but you can bring a duffle bag as well.  Pack in whatever you have around or borrow one, don’t go out and buy something new.

The place you deliver at is not a hotel so you will need to pack whatever makes you feel most comfortable being away from home. I realize that everyone has different routines and essentials, some do a lot, some do bare minimum, so I will include it all.  Travel size everything will be plenty.

You can pack your bag at any time, but it is important to have your hospital bag packed by 35 weeks, just in case your baby comes early.

TOILETRIES (this should be enough for mom and partner)

___Shampoo, conditioner or dry shampoo

___Body wash/Face wash/make up wipes

___Razor

___Toothbrush and toothpaste/mouthwash/dental floss

___Lotion

___Deodorant

___Chapstick/Make up

___Hair tyes/Scrunchies

___Comb/Brush

___Contact stuff/Glasses

CLOTHING (mom and partner)

___Robe/front opening shirt

___Comfy pj’s, (preferably a nursing top if available), easy access, partner basketball shorts

___Going home outfit, loose fitting, change of clothes for partner

___Swimwear if planning to be in water for delivery

___Flip flops/Shower shoes

___Nursing bra/nursing tank top

___Underwear if you prefer not to wear the stretchy mesh hospital one’s home

___Socks if your feet get cold

___Jacket or sweat shirt as it gets cold in the rooms

BABY

___Outfit for going home

___Picture outfit

___Swaddlers (or learn to swaddle from hospital RN/PCT)

___Diaper bag (put all important paperwork in) can stay in car until discharge

___Properly installed car seat (can stay in the car until discharge)

___If cooler outside, socks, hat and blanket to go outside

___Diapers and wipes should be provided at the hospital but can be prepacked in diaper bag

OTHER IDEAS

___Phone charger (long cords are nice)

___Camera/batteries/extension cord

___Tube of nipple cream (your choice); hospitals should have as well

___Breast pads (won’t likely need them but if using nipple cream, they will prevent staining your bra)

___Nursing pillow (mybrestfriend, bosom baby or boppy).  Can be nice to have to know how to use it at home however, the hospital or birthing suite has a ton of pillows.  Leave it in the car until you need it.

___Snacks/gum/Hard candies/honey sticks (great for energy)

FOR LABOR & DELIVERY (can be a separate bag or packed on top of other things)

___Pre register at place of birth PRIOR to delivery or bring in paperwork with you

___Birth plan

___Insurance card/ID

___Heat or cold packs

___Massage oils or lotions

___Massage tools

___Peanut or birth ball (call place of delivery and ask if they already have them if you want one)

___Playlist for labor and delivery

___Birth affirmations

Years working in a hospital as a postpartum nurse and doing home visits as a postpartum doula and lactation educator, I’ve seen it all in hospital bags.  Just remember, hospitals or birthing centers provide you with most of what you need, if you are curious, call and ask:

TMC-520-327-5461 (https://www.tmcaz.com/)
Banner University Medical Center-520-694-0111 (bannerhealth.com)
St. Joes 520-873-3000 (carondelet.org)
Northwest Women’s Center 520-742-9000 (healthiertucson.com)
BabyMoon Inn 602-314-7755 (https://babymooninn.com/tucson-birth-center/)

They will tell you what they provide for you in Labor and Delivery and on the Postpartum unit. A good rule of thumb should be if you don’t want it to get dirty, DON’T bring it to the hospital.

Congratulations again, you are almost there! I am excited to hear how your delivery goes and once you get home and settled in, feel free to call as you get started on your motherhood, parenting and breastfeeding journey.  I’d be honored to help you as you transition and grow with your new family member. For more information or to contact me directly https://www.yourfamilysjourney.com/contact-us/

Grumpaloffagus

One of my favorite memories with my girls, when they were little, was reading to them. We’d snuggle in nightly to read and read and re read the same books over and over.  Certain books were chosen for me to read and others for my husband to read and most of the time we were NOT allowed to read each other’s books.  Apparently we read differently! 

The older they got, the closer they would watch the pages, pointing to things on the pages, turning the pages or say a word that they recognized.  Reading to your children is super important for so many reasons: language acquisition, learning sounds, words and languages, stimulates curiosity and aids in brain development just to name a few.  Plus, it is a great time to bond with your child.

Children’s book coming soon

When a former client reached out to let me know she had written and illustrated a new book, I had to know more.  Meet the author of Grumpaloffagus, Kristin Gundenkauf.

Q.  Kristin, congratulations on this amazing accomplishment!  Who was your inspiration to write this new book?

A. My main inspiration for Grumpaloffagus is my 18-month old daughter, Aria, but she is only one of many that inspired the book. I have been involved youth for a long time, on top of having many nieces, nephews, and godchildren. They are all so unique and inspiring – I could write book for ages based on their experiences.

Q.  Who is Grumpaloffagus?  What does he represent?

A. Grumpaloffagus is a kid dinosaur that experiences many different forms of grumpiness – from simple things like being hungry and tired, to more complex emotions like being embarrassed, scared or frustrated. Though Grumpaloffagus, for me, is Aria, Grumpaloffagus is anyone – yes, even grown-ups – who get grumpy from time to time.

Q. What message are you hoping to convey in your story?

A. This book is all about understanding why we get grumpy so we can work through those feelings. Grumpaloffagus, aside from being silly and fun, is meant to help facilitate discussions between parents and their little ones. When we get grumpy, we can easily get stuck in a vacuum of negative thoughts and feelings. What doesn’t help is the fact that, as a culture, we tend to associate shame and failure with feeling upset. Even as an adult I find I get grumpy from time to time, only I have context, words, and experience to try and work through it.

For children, without context and an understanding that we all get grumpy from time to time, it can be quite difficult and emotionally draining when those feelings of grumpiness arise. So, if we understand we are all grumpaloffaguses from time to time, we can then be empowered to conquer those negative feelings. 

Who is this book for?

Q.  What is the age range for readers?

A. The intended age range is 3-7, or preschool to second grade. However, since it is intended as a mechanism for self-reflection, it can work for a broader range. Surprisingly, I have found myself referencing Grumpaloffagus when I have gotten frustrated, so I think the content translates to various ages!

Q. When will the book be released and where can we buy it?

A.  The book will be available for purchase on Amazon by October 15. It will be released under my name, Kristin Gudenkauf. You can follow my publishing site, Baby Rex Productions, on Facebook for updates.  https://www.facebook.com/BabyRexProd

Q.  Is there anything else you want to share with us?

A. I hope this book helps your little ones better understand their feelings and help them to find what works for them in moving past those hard emotions. My favorite thing about this book is that it creates a safe-space for kids to feel what they feel, trigger self-reflection, and work through it – and, hopefully, that is a skill set that will benefit them into adulthood.

Thank you Kristin!

Happy reading, creating memories and gaining a better understanding of your children’s inner GRUMP:) For more tips, head on over to read my blog posts at https://www.yourfamilysjourney.com/doula-blog/ or visit my FB page at https://www.facebook.com/YourFamilysJourney

Wait, is it Normal if My Breastfed Newborn Goes a Few Days Without Pooping?

YES, it is completely normal! Newborn poop can be a mystery as it changes. It is hard to wrap your mind around your baby not pooping anywhere from 4-8 times a day, especially when you feel like all you do is change diapers in those first few days and weeks.  Some newborns poop with every feed, while others only go a couple times a day.  Every baby is different.  Again, it is completely normal for your baby, who has been pooping several times a day to move to only go a few times a week.

WHY does that happen and WHERE does that poop go?

Great questions. “Newborn babies often poop after every feeding, about 6 times per day.  In the first few weeks after delivery your baby’s intestines are maturing and becoming more efficient at extracting nutrition from breast milk or formula.  As their intestines get better at digesting food, the time between bowel movements gets longer and longer.  Before you know it you have a two-month-old that is going several days without dirtying their diaper. If your baby has blood in his or her stool, persistent crying, fever, or isn’t feeding normally, you need to seek medical care. ”

How Long Can A Baby Go Without Pooping?

Diaper output is one way to help parents feel assured that your baby is having his or her needs met since we can’t measure how much breast milk they are getting from your breasts. Your newborns first poop is called meconium, the dark green or black tar like substance for the first few days after delivery.  This slowly transitions as your milk comes in and turns into a mustard seed like runny consistence but can vary from brown to yellow green, this too is NORMAL.

Charts and Visual




Days 1-3
First 6 weeks                       
BreastfedNewborn will pass meconium by 24-48 hours after birth. It will change to a green-yellow color by day 4.Runny, yellow stool. Expect at least 3 bowel movements per day, but may be up to 4-12 for some babies. After this, baby may only poop every few days. 
Formula-fedNewborn will pass meconium by 24-48 hours after birth. It will change to a green-yellow color by day 4.Light brown or greenish stool. Expect at least 1-4 bowel movements per day. After the first month, baby may only pass stool every other day. 
How Often Do Breastfed and Formula-Fed Newborn Babies Poop?

Always chat with your pediatrician or health care provider if you have concerns or something seems out of the ordinary with your newborns bowel movements.  If your baby is pooping only once a day in the first few weeks, this can be a sign that they are not getting enough to eat. Unless your health care provider suggests, do NOT give your baby water or juice if you think they are constipated.

There can be a variety of changes in your babies poop based on what you, as their parent are eating, if you are introducing formula, solids or if they are having a sensitivity or allergy to any of the above.  Rest assured, know that your breast milk provides everything your baby needs, so nothing goes to waste! If you would like even more helpful hints to read about, check out my blog page at https://www.yourfamilysjourney.com/doula-blog/

Dear Mom and Dad: a reassuring love letter from baby

I am finally here. You have waited 10 long months to meet me. Here is my love letter to you:

Parenting is HARD.  We know becoming a parent can be SCARY and OVERWHELMING yet JOYOUS and EXCITING all at the same time.  We don’t come with a book of instructions or a HOW TO manual.  Some days you take 3 steps forward and then 12 backwards. Just when you think you figure us out, we change things up for you. We too, are learning. 

We cry because we can. Sometimes we burp, lots of times we fart.  Peeing on you when you put a fresh diaper on us, is a game we LOVE to play. We love to sleep during the day and keep you up all night. Wrapped in your arms or laying on your chest makes us feel safe and secure. Smelling your skin, hearing your heart beat and listening to your voice calms us down.  Cuddle us lots, that is our favorite.

We know we can be confusing at times.  It is hard when you don’t have all the answers and some days you just wing it. You are exhausted and your hormones are making you feel weird all over. Be patient with us and just continue to love us unconditionally.

What ME, your baby, want you to know. In no particular order:

  • FIRST, you are doing a great job!
  • SECOND, it is ok to doubt yourself and mess up, you are not expected to have all the answers, no one does
  • THIRD, set boundaries with family and friends & don’t be afraid to say “NO”
  • FOURTH, don’t compare yourself to any other parents or me to any other kids, I am one of a kind
  • FIFTH, if one trick doesn’t work, try another one. I am not a one size fits all baby
  • SIXTH, take a nap when you can, sleep is hard to come by at first
  • SEVEN, Don’t be afraid to ASK for help. You are not alone
  • EIGHT, don’t forget to take care of you, YOU are important and I NEED you to be OK!
  • NINE, don’t google stuff, EVER
  • TEN, I LOVE YOU

Teamwork makes the dream work! Ask for help when you need it, hire Colleen (https://www.yourfamilysjourney.com).  We can all use some TLC sometimes, so take care of yourself.  YOU are enough! Remember, we don’t need everything, all the BIG fancy gear, we just need your love and attention.  Together WE GOT THIS!

Love, your sweet baby. 

Due to COVID 19, Colleen will be providing virtual and/or in home support.

Feel free to call, text or email her for virtual support in the comfort, safely providing virtual and in-person support based on families needs!